Current mood:

worried

ugh
i wish things were better today..

my dad..not good at all..lately hes at a thin line..looking worst and worst..his hair is thinning much more..and hospital visits are much more frequent..
my mother doesn't know when to stop her ranting...is it really necessary to blame me for my fathers pain.
is it really necessary to continue with lies and rumours..is it really necessary to ruin something or things that are going well and not a mistake has been made, but the world likes to say that there has..

i found out today Dominika, my friend who i'v known for 9 years now, who i haven't seen in about a year...her father passed away..the father who took her and i to montreal when we were 8, the father who was the only support for her family because her mother didn't work..

i guess sometimes..you shouldn't think or get angry or upset about little things..because..people make mistakes, or sometimes..people lie to cause you pain.. and there is so much worst out there..you only live once..

you can die today..tomorrow...in 3 years, in 70 years...you dont know..it sounds long..but..if you live it to the fullest starting now...pushing aside the agony and thinking about what is really important out there..laughter..happiness..etc..
you only live once..
i think i went through something life changing..
i think the world is collapsing on me..
and for once..
im scared..

i dont know what else to say.. other than..i now know that i shouldnt always beleive what i hear..what goes around comes around..

i want all my friends and even enemies..to be happy..because i guess after all this thought about life and death...its made me realize that..noone deserves to go through such heartache..

ugh..

i think i'm done..